Bitterest Bullet To Bite
by lifelesslyndsey
Summary: A quick tale of chasing tail. Paul avoids Bella for years, and maybe it was for the better. Or worse. Just like marriage, which is ironic because of the whole imprinting thing. Probably not the welcome home present Bella had been expecting. A story of what could have been were things a little different. Also it's crack. Seriously.Written for The Majors Army Plot Bunny Boot Camp.


**Title: Bitterest Bullet To Bite **

**Author: **lifelesslyndsey

**Rating and warnings: **M for swearing, illusions to sex

**Word Count: **5,500

**A/N** This was written for The Majors Army Plot Bunny Bootcamp, with **Cairadawn** in mind. It's stupid late and not beta'd because I am a failure, but I'm working on getting it beda'd. Mines in the shop at the moment.

Plot Bunny 1#:Imprint story... Edward leaves Bella like normal, she learns of the wolves. Bella stays FRIENDS with Jake and is close with the other wolves...except one. Paul never got over the fact that Bella was first with a leech, so he always stayed on the outskirts of anything that contained Bella in anyway. That was how he liked it. Fate had another plan. One day Bella is visiting Folks on vacation from college (or Job, cannot decide) and Charlie and Jake are unable to pick her up from the airport so they ask Paul.

**Bitterest Bullet To Bite. **

**A Quick Tale Of Tail Chased. **

It had been years since Paul was last forced to deal with Bella Swan. In fact, he was sure the last time he'd laid eyes on her, she'd smacked him across the face. Actually, he's fairly sure that had been the day he met her, as well. That had kind of been that. Paul didn't care for her and all her drama. While he was fairly sure about 98% of his animosity toward the girl was entirely unmerited, it didn't change the fact that he simply didn't like her.

It wasn't the leech lover thing, although that played a very large part in it. It was the...the pining. Paul couldn't respect a girl who let herself waste away over a guy who clearly didn't want her. Vampire aside, that would have been enough to have Paul questioning her worth. Add to that the leeches, well Paul didn't see the point in befriending Bella Swan. The melodrama that followed her, the trouble, the danger; Paul wanted no part of that. He did his job, killed the leeches after her, and that was that. Nothing more, nothing less.

Jacob didn't seem to mind; he kept the girl to himself most days, though the pack pushed their way into the Jacob-and-Bella circle as often as they could. They _liked_ her, as unfathomable as it seemed to Paul. No one had to the heart to tell Jake he'd been officially friend-zoned, though. Or rather, Sam had made it clear we were to leave him alone on the subject of Swan. Not particularly a hard ship on Paul's part.

It came as a surprise to exactly no one but Jacob when Swan left for college. There was a party, of which Paul did not RSVP, and a bonfire that painted the night sky in brilliant orange flames, in celebration to her acceptance to wherever the fuck she was going. And then she was gone, and life went on. Jacob pined for exactly three months, until a family moved down from Sooke to the Reservation. They had three daughters, one of which the Gods them selves deemed perfect for Jacob Black.

Swan had been, from what Jacob had so thoughtfully shared, thrilled for him. How magnanimous of her, Paul thought. Of course she was happy Jake was pinned to someone else. She wouldn't have to gently ease Jake's hand off hers, wriggle out of his hugs or duck his attempts to push the hair from her face. Yeah, Paul wasn't surprised she was thrilled for Jake.

Good for him. Good for her. Good for every _fucking_ body.

Those next four years passed like water down the river. Paul didn't think of Swan, and though Swan lingered in the edged of Jacob's mind always, the intensity of it was no where near what it had been. His mind was on his wife now, and their impending pup. Paul thought it was stupid -married and pregnant at twenty? He was happy for his pack brother anyway, of course.

Jacob's wasn't the first kid to be born to their pack, Sam had saw to that, quickly followed by Jared and Kim. Embry had surprised everyone by showing up to a pack meeting only months prior with a fresh born baby and a horrified expression, with nothing to say but 'apparently this is mine'. It was true enough, every one could smell Embry in the kid. He wasn't the first single parent on the Rez though; no one batted an eye.

That was life. The Pack lived on. Sam remained Alpha under the concession that Jacob would take the place of Chief eventually. Jared and Kim were still grossly in love, with a tiny house on the cliff. Leah dated the entire upper coast with an aggressive single mindedness. Seth still hadn't _graduated _high school_._ Embry was inexplicably a dad. Quill was single. That was life.

And then Bella Swan came back.

Paul was at Billy's house when the call came.

"You're _where_?" The Chief's face split into a grin, mustache twitching. "Oh hell, you know I don't mind! You're room's just the way you left it! I can be there in-" Billy thumped Chief on the arm, and gave the bottle of beer in his hand a pointed look. "Er, actually I can't. I might have had a few beers. I can send one of the boys up though."

Paul took a step closer, angling his head so he could pick up the conversation on the other end of the phone. "Oh no dad, don't worry about it, really. I can' rent a car."

"It's to late for all of that. You've been on a plane for God knows how long, you don't need to be driving in the dark. It's raining out and-"

Swan laughed. _"It's always raining there. I've missed it." _

Charlie smiled, letting out a little chuff of a laugh. "I've missed you. Do me a favor and don't rent a car. I'll only worry if you do. There's gotta be someone who can come get you. Jake-"

_"Shouldn't be anywhere but at Layla's side," _Swan said fiercely._ "She's could pop any day. Jake needs to be there. And don't call Embry, he needs his sleep with that baby." _

"Sam-"

"Night patrol, same as Jared and Leah," Billy threw out. Paul was never sure when Charlie was let in on The Secret. It was never discussed. One day he didn't know, and the next he did. That had been that, although Paul has is money on Jacob. Wouldn't be anything new.

"Quill-"

_"Doesn't have a license,"_ Swan laughed. _"Really dad, it's not a problem."_

Charlie snorted. "I forgot how well informed Jake keeps you on pack news. Well, that's everyone-"

Not everyone. Paul hedged toward the door as quietly as he could, but Billy was on to him. "Paul ain't busy."

The airport was teeming with surly groups of sweaty people, each teeming with an air of barely kept hostility.

Honestly, Paul could relate. He felt like that on a good day.

He had no idea where to find her. The Chief hadn't said much, and Paul was pretty sure in the two hours it took him to drive to the airport, Swan would have gotten her luggage. In the end however, finding her was easy. He'd headed to the service desk, to ask if she could be page, only to find her already there.

She was crouched down on the floor, eye level with a little blonde girl. "Hey there, it's okay. Your daddy's probably already on his way up here to get you. I bet he was really scared too."

The girl sniffled, and poked the shiny badge pinned to the front of Swan's button up blue shirt. "Did he find a police officer too?"

Paul had known, objectively, that when Swan left it was for a police academy just far enough to be too far. However, he'd never bothered to rationalize that police officers come from police academies, there for it came as a surprise to him that Bella Swan, was in fact, a police officer. It was odd to say the least. He wouldn't have pegged Swan as the Law Enforcement type. But there she was, shiny badge and all.

"He might have honey. Is that who told you to find a police officer, if you got lost? Your daddy?"

The little girl nodded solemnly. "He told me if we got separated to scream as loud as I could cause' that would scare off the creepers and make a police officer come. I don't know what a creeper is but he was right, you came!"

Paul snorted, and even Swan laughed. "Your daddy sounds like a very smart man. And if I'm not mistaken, that's him right now."

Paul followed Swan's line of sight to a harried looking young man with a face awash in worry. "Makenna," he breathed, scooping the little girl up into his arm. He was young, not much older than Paul himself, with a tired single-parent look about him that Embry wore a majority of the time. "Oh God, thank you, thank you. I was so worried. Her monkey-thing broke, and I wasn't... This has never happened before, okay? This is the first year we didn't use the baby-carrier and...God. Sorry. Rambling. Thank you." He deflated a little, still crushing the kid against his chest. The girl, Paul noted, was out like a light, just like that. Kids were weird. "I'm Rory, by the way."

"Officer Swan." Swan said brightly, and shook her head. "It's fine, really. She was pretty worried you'd get lost without her, so..." She scratched her head, adjusting her other arm. Paul only then realized it was wrapped up in a sling, held tight against her chest. "She seems fine now."

The little girl let out a tiny snore, and the guy laughed. "So uh, maybe I can buy you a coffee, as like a thank you? I have like a four hour lay over until my next flight. Where are you headed?"

"This is my last stop, actually. But...it looks like my ride is here." She looked over her shoulder, eyes flickering to Paul and away again. "But hey, good luck! Looks like your lay-over might not suck as bad. She looks like she's out for the long haul."

The guy snorted lightly, but Paul could smell the light sting of rejection on him. "If we're lucky. Well, uh. Thank you Officer Swan."

"It's nothing," Swan said again, reaching up to ruffle the little girls hair. "It's what I do."

He waited by the phones, not bothering with the courtesy of meeting her half way. They were going his direction, anyways. "How'd you know I was there?" He asked, in way of greeting. They weren't friendly enough to bother with anything else, really.

She was crouched again, adjusting the bungee cord securing her carry on and what looked like a lap-top case to her rolling luggage. "I've spent about two years of my life with you lurking behind me in the shadows with that stupid sullen look on your face like someone kicked you out of your own party. I've got a Paul radar for brooding now, sourwolf."

"I...that is not even true,"he stuttered, as she looped the metal hook over the hand rail, and around the lap-top case. "I didn't follow you." He paused, and frowned. "And I don't brood."

"You're brooding right now, and I didn't say you were following me. Actually, I think you were doing the opposite. I've always wondered, what was the radius?" She fussed with the straps on the carry-on and wrapped them around her purse, and really who needed this many bags?

"The radius of what?" Paul snapped, ripping the purse of the top of her odd bag-pyramid and throwing it over his shoulder. Her carry-on and lap top case followed.

She grinned; he could see the barest peek of it through the curtain of her hair. "The distance you kept from me? I mean, you gave me a pretty wide berth. What was it? Fifty feet? Seventy-five?"

"Far enough to never smell you," he told her meanly, slamming the extendable handle of the luggage down, and picking that up too. "The leech-stink took longer to go away then you realize."

"How would you know? You were too far to smell me." She looked up then, cocky smile plastered across her sun-kissed skin -that was new, he remembered her pale- and Paul was pretty sure he just _died_.

There wasn't a lot that mattered to Paul. His ability to prioritize was the stuff of legend. He liked a clutter free life. There was Pack, and Family (which included Pack) and the Rez (which included Pack and Family), and that was about it.

And then there was Bella.

_Bella, Bella, Bella_. It was like a record in his head, a chime, a freaking _bell_. And it never stopped, wouldn't even stop, he was sure of that. Every little nuance in his life shifted, accommodating her, fitting her in...not like the last puzzle piece, she was more than that. She was the nail that held the house together, the one string that tied the rest, the -

"Way to make it weird," Bella said, with an absolutely _horrified_ expression. "Oh my God, stop looking at me."

Paul blinked, and blinked again. "Um. So I-"

"Yeah, I got that part," Bella cut him off. "I...holy shit. I...I can't even words. I am unable_ to words_." She swallowed hard, and shook her head. "Good timing, I guess."

Pff. As if it had been intentional. But Paul couldn't think about all the time he'd missed with her. Not to mention the fact she lived in an entirely different state. Paul would have to move now. Sam wouldn't like that. But...well. Boston was nice. It could be nice. Paul could pretend.

The car ride is made impossibly less awkward when Bella promptly passed out in the lumpy passenger seat of Paul's shitty Kia. He divided his time by ignoring is peripherals and staring steadfast at nothing but the road and out-right blatantly staring at her face.

His mind was in two places as well; the wolf and the man. As a wolf, Paul was nothing but sunshine and kittens on the inside, finally completed, graced with divine blessing, made purposeful, made whole, and all that other _shit_. As a man, Paul was mortified. Bella Swan? He belonged to Bella Swan?

No, Paul thought, shaking his head violently. He wasn't going to start thinking like that. That was unsubtle brainwashing on Jared's part. Sam didn't think he belonged to Emily, after all. No, Sam was a traditionalist in that were it an option, he probably would have clubbed Emily over the head and dragged her back to the cave by her hair. He could be a little _too_ in touch with his wolf, at times. Jared practically wore a leash and collar. Clearly that was a choice. What about Jacob? Jacob and Layla were a partnership in everything; home, business, marriage. They were a team. That was...marginally better, not that Paul felt like taking imprint advice from Jake.

So what were Paul and Bella?

"Nothing! Oh God, nothing!" Paul swore vehemently, to himself and the steering wheel. He shot Bella a quick glance, assuring herself she was still asleep. She was. "Right," he muttered. "What am I? What am I? What can I be?" Uh. Brother. Brothers were good. Could totally be Swan's brother. Who didn't need a brother? His eyes drifted back to her and he groaned. "Oh God. Don't look at her tits. Don't look at her tits. Don't look at her tits." Brothers didn't do that.

She snuffled, and he swore, turning his eyes back to the road.

But, now that the door had been open, Paul couldn't not think about her tits. He was a guy, and he didn't mean to objectify, it just sort of happened. He liked to think of it as more of a physical admiration for the female form. And hell, Paul liked them in all forms; tall, short, skinny, chubby, black, brown, white, whatever. Women were beautiful; Swan was not an exception.

The last four years had been kind to her. Gone was the pale, teenage, waif-like creature that moped and sighed. She was distinctly woman-ish now, with woman-ish things like hips and tits. And she was wearing a uniform and probably owned firearms and handcuffs so that might have been a kink now.

There was no way he was coming out of this as a brother. He wouldn't allow it.

He took her to his house. It was to late to do much else, and to be honest, Paul knew letting Bella out of his sight would be a mistake. She blinked blearily up at his little cottage house and then scowled. "This could constitute as kidnapping."

"I called your dad," Paul reasoned, hauling all her luggage into the kitchen, Bella following behind. "I only have one bed."

Bella gave him a flat look, and grabbed up her suitcase. "I kick and steal the blankets."

That...was not what Paul had been expecting. He'd been expecting protest, scowls, something. "...I don't need blankets."

She gave him another flat look, unblinking and firm. "I'll sleep on the couch."

Which was how Paul found himself sleeping on the couch wondering how he could be so easily played, and by Bella Swan, no less.

_Well played, Bella Swan. _

The following morning brought with it two things; breakfast and a stale-mate stare-off. Or at least, it was a stale-mate until Bella busted out the big guns. "You're not going to go into creepy stalker mode, are you?"

"Stalker what now?" Paul's mouth fell open, but he closed it before egg could fall back out. "Excuse me, I never stalked you."

"Pfff." Bella rolled her eyes, and stabbed her bacon with brutal force. "Paul, you were always there. Hovering, hiding, whatever. I went to the beach, you were there. I went to Jacobs garage, you were there, I went to Emily's, you were there."

"This is my Rez! That's my pack!" Paul didn't...he wasn't stalking her. That was stupid. He didn't even like her! Then. Now...well, that remained to be seen. Seriously; he wasn't feeling compelled to peel off her pajamas and rub all over her at all.

Like at all. Mainly because she was _still talking. _And Paul just didn't want to hear it.

"What about the time you followed me to the Thrift-A-Way. That was in Forks, and it was like 9:30 at night. You didn't even buy anything!"

"...I forgot my wallet and had to go back." Paul didn't actually remember that one, but yeah, he could see how creepy that could be. What the hell? "Are you making this shit up? I didn't even like you back then."

"Right. Leech lover. How could I forget you mindlessly vilifying me for falling in love with a monster." She sneered the words, and sipped her coffee all at once. Who knew insulting multitasker's could be attractive? Not Paul. "You're such a hypocrite."

Paul reeled."Excuse me? I'm pretty sure that at no point in my life was I _dicking the undead_. So, yeah. Not a hypocrite."

Rolling her eyes, Swan rested her sling-wrapped arm on the table top. "No, but you fully expect a woman to drop her shit and fall in love with you because you imprint. You full expect a woman," she pointedly did not say 'me' but it the context was screaming, "to accept you as you are, tooth and claw included." She stared at him, daring him to deny it.

Which he did, of course. Imprinting wasn't going to make him roll over and show his belly just because Bella had an _opinion_. "Do not compare me to those murders. They kill people. Innocent people."

"They were innocent people once too," Bella said, and her voice had grown quiet. "They were...they were innocent, just like you and the pack were, before you shifted. You're enemy is there enemy as well. They didn't ask to be turned, and most vampires don't know that there is an alternative lifestyle option. They don't _know_. Yes, they hunt humans, but they don't know any other way to survive, and that's all they want to do. They just want to live. Their instincts drive them to do it as they do."

"At the expense of others! At the expense of innocent people," Paul snapped, throwing her words back at her. "Are you really saying you expect us to just let them kill?" And this was it, the heart of the matter. This was what Paul hated, then and now.

"No!" She threw up her hands, and looked at him in disgust. Paul wondered if his brain was hardwired wrong, because a boner was terribly inappropriate in that moment, but... "God, how could you even think that? You guys saved me how many times? I'm not saying you're wrong."

"No, you're just saying our instincts are wrong. We can't not hunt them, Bella. We see vampires, and we want to kill them. It's as simple as that."

She smiled at that, which was...well, weird. "They see humans and want to feed. It's as simple as that. You're saying their instincts are wrong."

"They're monsters."

"No more than you."

"They-"

"Didn't ask for it. They didn't ask for it, and they're just doing what they have to do to get by. I'm not saying every vampire simply feeds. I know that there are...there are worse things out there then just a vampire. There are sick, twisted vampires who play with their food; I know that better than a lot of people, don't you think? I'm not even saying they're not monsters. I'm just saying that personally, I can't persecute any one for being as they were made. I don't care that they're vampires. Just like I don't care that you're a werewolf. It's what you do with it, that matters. You protect-"

"They kill," Paul insisted, but...it felt less heated.

"They eat." Bella set her coffee back on the table. She poked her eggs with her fork. "This egg; it could have been a chicken. Hell, we _eat_ chicken. They are lower on the food chain, than us. Just like I'm lower on the food chain to them. The difference between me, and chicken? I have you." She paused, and flushed brightly. "I mean, I have the pack. Humans have the pack. I guess chickens have PETA. Whatever, I can't remember where I was going with that. What I'm trying to say is that I don't think vampires are wrong to do as they were made to do, but I do think we're, uh...you know, people in general, are lucky to have you. Your kind. The pack."

"It doesn't change how I feel about them," Paul said, and Bella sighed.

"I don't expect it too." She pushed her plate away, and fiddled with the strap on her sling. "Didn't I just say I wouldn't hold anyone's instincts against them? I'm just asking that you not punish me anymore for my beliefs."

Paul blanched. "I wasn't...punishing you."

"Paul, you made the whole pack suffer because of me. It's honestly one of the leading factors into my decision to not date Jacob. Which, yeah, really dodged a bullet there. Or, you know...two bullets, apparently. I just didn't want to put any more contention between the pack. I hated that you felt like you needed to exclude yourself. It made me want to exclude myself, but Jacob wouldn't have it."

"Excluding myself is kind of an impossibility at this point," Paul muttered, mainly because denying anything would be a lie and that's probably not the most auspicious way to do well...anything.

"Imprinting is just another one of those instinctual things, something you can't control. I'm not mad. I'm...just...I mean, really? You. _Really_?"

Paul blanched. "Don't hold back," he growled, stealing her abandoned breakfast and eating that too. "Tell me how you really feel."

She snorted. "You're being a baby. Sorry I'm not dropping my pants just because the God's said go." She snatched Paul's empty plate and took it to the sink, dumping it unceremoniously beneath running faucet. "Sorry mystical breeding bonds don't do it for me. I'm more of a dinner and a movie kind of girl."

"You're not even wearing pants. You're wearing bunny pajamas. I can't take you seriously right now at all. They have a tail." And she did, a little white puff ball pinned to the back of her sleep shorts. "Wolves hunt rabbits, you know."

She smirked, and turned to flick water at him. "It's all about the chase, isn't it? That was kind of your MO back in the day, wasn't it? From the way Jacob painted it, you really loved to chase _tail_."

Paul didn't blanch, he didn't even scowl. "If you're worried I'll cheat on you, you have to know I can't. The imprint is whatever you make it. If you make it that, I'm yours."

"I'm not worried about you cheating on me, Paul. I just want you to know that I won't make this hunt easy. I'm not easy, no matter what you think or thought of me."

Paul sneered. "You might not be easy, but you don't smell like a virgin."

Bella laughed outright at that, tipping her head back. "I'm not, not by a long shot. And you can use that to insult me all you want, but I bet it's driving you crazy right now that I've been with another man. Other men," she corrected, with a mean smile.

And fuck him if it wasn't pissing him off. "I'm already planning on how I'll tell Sam I have to move to Boston," he growled. "I'm not just some guy who wants in your pants, but if you want me to work for it, I will. I don't expect anything from you; that's not how it works. And you know that. I will be what you want; brother, friend, lover...whatever else there is. You'll make me that. So don't bust my balls, because you don't need too."

She was silent for a long moment, and that in itself felt like an apology. "I never slept with Edward, by the way. I don't know if that makes you feel better-"

"I know you didn't, but it still does. Make me feel better, I mean." He sighed, closing his eyes. "This is stupid. This isn't...this isn't how it should have went. This isn't how it went for Sam, Jared or Jake. You're not suppose to know, I'm suppose to tell you."

Bella laughed, but it wasn't happy. This morning was a mess, too many ups and downs and it had left Paul's head spinning. "Took all your control away, didn't it? You can't paint it as something bright and happy and wonderful. You can't lead me down the path of lovers; you can't lead me anywhere. Because I know."

"Pretty much."

"Jacob and Layla are really happy," she said, a sloppy segue out of the pity party they'd thrown. "And I want that. But not blindly. Because I've been there, done that, and I've got the scars and therapy bills to prove it."

"So what now?"

"First I have to tell my dad I'm not going back to Boston." She laughed at the face he made, all surprised pleasure. "Wipe that smile off your face, I'm not moving back for you. My stuff is actually already on it's way."

Bella took the position of the La Push patrol officer. Forks had always had an offer on the Rez. Usually the most action they saw were domestic disputes and disturbances of peace. It was a boring job, but Bella seemed happy enough to have it. The Chief was thrilled too; he had his daughter back and out of the line of fire.

He hadn't been thrilled when he found out Bella had been shot during a gas station robbery gone wrong. Bella had saved a sixteen year old girl from a fatal gunshot wound. It had shattered her bone, required extensive surgery and months of recovery, but miraculously there had been no nerve damage. It had been that incident that drove her home, out of the big city and to the comfort of small town Forks, her friends and Father.

And Paul. He felt that was a necessary add in, no matter how much she hadn't been expecting him for a welcome home present.

"Paul," Bella sighed, rolling her eyes as she pulled herself out of the squad car. Paul liked to bother her on her shift because she looked hot in her uniform. Three words; gun and handcuffs. "What are you doing here?" The beach was abandoned, cold wind nipping at their cheeks, painting Swan's a pretty pink.

"I brought you food." He chucked a back of doughnuts at her because that joke would never get old, and grinned. "I was wondering if you wanted to catch a movie tonight? Maybe dinner."

She looked up sharply, eyes wide in surprise. "You waited a really long time to ask."

And that was true. It had been six months since they'd imprinted. Paul liked to think of it as them together and not just him. It was their imprint, not Paul's. "Thought you might want to get to know each other first. Figured we should get the friends thing out of the way, you know? You said you wanted to do it right."

He knew he'd done the right thing by the way she smiled, all secret pleasure and smothered smugness. "Oh shit," she huffed. "I told Jake I'd watch Billie tonight. Rain check?"

No rain check. "How about you pick up a movie when your shift is over, and I bring dinner. I don't mind staying in."

She snorted at him, and gave him a knowing look. "You just want to play with Billie."

"Don't bust my balls; you love it when I do the baby thing." And maybe that was half the reason he put double time in with Billie Black. The other was because for Jacob Black's spawn, the kid was _cute_. Bella got all soft-smiled and sappy when Paul had Billie.

Bella didn't deny it. "I thought you were going to chase me. What happen to that?"

"I like a subtle hunt," Paul said, crowding her up against the car. The contact wasn't anything new. Bella had accepted that Paul had to smother her in his scent. If he didn't he had a tendency to become a snappish, cranky asshole. It was an instinct to mark as Sam had explained, but that didn't make it any less unpleasant.

She leaned back on the car, looking up at him with a squinted look. "There has been no hunting here."

"Sure there has." Paul grinned, flashing his teeth. "I make you breakfast, I help you around the house, I get hang out with your dad. And that was just today."

"One, you threw a muffin at my face and told me you 'wanted more cushion for the pushing, so eat up'. Two, you had to fix the porch railing today because you broke it when I told you not to launch off it and you did anyways. And three, you only hang out with my dad because he's at Billy's and you go there to mooch free cable."

"That last one is totally no true; I like your dad." The rest of it was totally true. "And you really should eat more because one day you're totally going to drop your pants for me and I don't want to break you in half with my dick or anything."

She made a face. "It's your sweet talk I love the best."

"You should hear my dirty talk," Paul leered.

Bella smashed a doughnut in his face, and snorted. "Please spare me that horror show. I'm sure I'll hear it eventually."

Paul froze at that, pink sprinkles and glaze sticky on his face. "Really?" He had to ask; this was the closest Bella had ever come to admitting they were heading where Paul thought they were heading.

She slapped his cheek, the icing-free half, before slipping her hand over the back of his neck. "Really. Also, I want Chinese, and pack a bag because your staying the night."

He's not ashamed to admit he flailed a little. "Are you fucking with me?" He hoped to fuck she wasn't because he hadn't gotten any in six months and God, he'd settle for a blowy.

"Sure!" Bella smirked. "Billie doesn't sleep through the night yet. You're okay with getting up every two to three hours, right? Because I'm not."

He scowled. "Whatever, I'll get up with the baby. You're a hateful she-beast if you don't get enough sleep. But you're making breakfast and you're not allowed to throw it at my face."

Bella laughed, and tugged on his neck. "Paul?"

"What?" He replied, sullenly. Cock blocked by a baby that wasn't even his. That shit was just cruel. Jacob had to know Paul was planning on asking Bella out. That little douche bag probably set this up on purpose.

"Shut up."

And then she kissed him.

THE END.

**A/N** I don't know what happened here. This was suppose to be broody porn and some how it ended up pornless crack. Anyway, I feel like this could be a realistic interpretation to a slightly more grown up and less annoying Bella and Paul, were they to imprint after Bella already knew everything.

I don't know. STOP LOOKING AT ME GOD.


End file.
